In honor of International Coaching Week, Jen Burch reflects on implementing coach training, the practice of coaching, and resources for ministry and life.
Last fall, I embarked on a week of Coach Approach Skills Training with a group of twenty UMCRM peers, a grant-funded opportunity offered by Holmes Coaching Group and hosted by Glisson Camp & Retreat Center in North Georgia. I want to share three ideas or principles from coaching that have stuck with me and found their way into my life and work.
One principle featured in our training was approaching each client as “creative, resourceful, and whole.” This orientation toward others (and ourselves) is a stance of positivity, trust, and faith. It provides the foundation on which the process, action, and results of coaching can build. It’s a helpful corrective in a world too often characterized by cynicism, mistrust, low self-esteem, and scarcity mentality. Believing that people and groups are creative, resourceful, and whole can help a coach empower clients to be their best selves and achieve their goals. My faith understanding also aligns with this approach in that I believe God wants us to live fully into who we were created to be, and that we co-create that self with God over a lifetime through deep listening and courageous action. The coaching relationship, insofar as it empowers clients to live in this way, can be a spirit-filled process. As I practice seeing myself and others as creative, resourceful, and whole, I find this approach softening my natural inner critic and providing a more optimistic view of what is possible. That is making me a more effective coach, of course, and I think it’s also making me a better person in all the roles and relationships of my life. I commend this to you! Remember, you and everyone you meet are creative, resourceful, and whole. This reminder that you are enough is one of the gifts that participating in a coaching relationship can provide.
Another foundational coaching skill is listening content-free. By that I mean that one listens without thinking of what to say next, without judgment, with an open mind. Even those of us who have a pretty good grasp of basic interpersonal communication may find this challenging. When someone else is speaking, our minds are often looking for ways to relate to what they are saying, finding points of sympathy or agreement, thinking of how our own ideas and experiences are similar or different. 
Especially when they are talking about something that we have an opinion or expertise about, or that triggers our memory or emotions, it can take a lot of self-control simply to be present and listen. Coaching training has reminded me to practice the art of listening without bringing my own content into it. Bringing intention to this skill is calling my attention to how difficult and non-intuitive it is! However, in the moments when I succeed at being fully present and truly listening, I recognize it as a blessing to the other person, and deeply beneficial to my understanding of them. I think of the admonition in James 1:19 to be “quick to listen, slow to speak.” I encourage us all to practice truly listening, and to seek out friends, family members, colleagues, and perhaps a coach who is able to provide that space to you.
The third idea I want to introduce is a “wheel of life” tool which can help a coach and client to identify which parts of life are going well and which need some attention. As I remind myself that I am a whole person, I have found it useful to visualize the dimensions of my life as parts of the circle. In an ideal world (not the one we actually live in!), each of the parts is strong and balanced. In the real world, the different dimensions are in constant flux, some naturally stronger or weaker due to temperament or circumstances or the varying seasons of life. Taking a moment to assess how I’m doing in each of the dimensions is a great reminder of my wholeness as a person, and it gives me some perspective and power to decide what and how I would like to change and grow. I encourage you, reader, to spend some time with the wheel of life and see what it reveals to you. While it seems obvious that we might work on the aspects of our life that are lacking, also consider ways to build off of the dimensions are strong, leveraging those areas to help boost those you want to improve. A coach can help you in this process.
If these principles spark something in you and you would like to pursue a coaching relationship with me or another trained coach, please reach out. You can also access coaching, mentoring, and other supportive resources in the UMCRM Hive. Creating a safe and encouraging space for people to think, feel, try things, be heard, be vulnerable, dream, decide, and commit is a special gift. Within the UMCRM community we have a compassionate group of peers willing to provide that space.
Jen Burch serves as the Director of Communications and Community Engagement for the United Methodist Camp & Retreat Ministries (UMCRM) Association. She is a former Camp Director and holds a Masters of Divinity from the Iliff School of Theology. She lives in Colorado, is an INFJ, and offers her coaching skills to members of the UMCRM community as she logs hours for her International Coaching Federation credential.
